Without u: Part 2

woah~ finally get to update my blog.. ok.. one thing at a time..
i'm officially a perm staff as of 17th dec.. so far nothing much as i'm doing things tat i had been doing for the past 2months before convertion except for more job scope.. kekeke.. i'm still quite new so will be expecting more to come.. so far really enjoyed my time working with the people there.. truely grateful to all whom had guild me along all this while.. i learned alot of them.. the sad thing is most of the temps will be returning or starting their school soon.. will surely missed the time spent with them.. all the best in studies!!
3days later.. the most important part of my life started.. she finally accepted me.. i'm officially attached on 20th dec!! heex.. the sad thing was she went back on x'mas that very day.. its heart wrecking but i'm contented enough to spend the time we had.. its short but filled.. this maybe a test for us as they say distance makes the hearts grow fonder.. its true as i'm definitely feeling the pinch already.. though its just for afew days after she left for home.. this has really thought me to treasure the time & moment we had & going to have.. for time waits for nobody.. how i wish that she could be by my side every day.. every moment.. every min.. alittle much to ask for i guessed.. *sigh* all i can do now is wait for her return or maybe making a short trip over to look for her.. gotta be more cautious as i'm worried that her mum would find out.. my heart is not with me le but i just gotta concentrate on things over here.. if not she'll not be happy also de.. frankly speaking.. i'm happy as things they are now.. its difficult to maintain long distance r/s but luv will definitely pull us closer & stronger de.. tis i believe.. i just wanna say tis.. i miss u dear dear!! i love u so much!! ^-^
congrats to my buddies, arul & allan.. arul came back s'pore & found a job.. allan finally bought a house of his own.. finally got a place of his own with his wife.. will be hoping to meet them up soon.. how soon i dunno oso 'coz i'm kinda bz..
last but not least.. happy b'day to kat.. join her for dinner at grapevine with harold & kenichi.. a nice place to chill.. after dinner.. no where to go & tired.. decided to have a game or two in the lan shop before we head for home..

Dedicated to all 4

当世界不知不觉的变了, When the world unknownly changes
有时候我怀念以前的我, Sometimes I do doubt the past of me
作的梦虽然远远的, The dreams I had maybe out of reached
想像是一种快乐, But thinking can be a kind of happiness
拥有了同时也失去什麼 At the same time, I do felt I loss what I achieved

This is something I stumbled upon when i was doing some reading.. Sometimes in life we do felt frustrated over what we cannot achieved but at the same time felt that what we had achieved is drifting apart from us.. I do agree on this as I felt the same way before & currently feeling too.. Life is just too short.. Don't asked for too much from yourself as it will only lead u to nowhere.. be contented with what u have now.. I know most will not agree on what I said but I gone through quite alot in life so I can understand the needs & wants.. Nobody will be content over what he/she had right now & will push themselves harder to hit the goals.. Will u be happy doing so?? maybe monetary satisfactions wise but are u as a whole?? what will u get along the way??
As for me, one thing I'm afraid of all this while are "lost & lose".. Why this?? I'm afraid to lost my way in life and lose the ones I loved.. I had gone through both during my earlier stage in life & I never want to exprience them again.. All I can say is treasure all u have right now.. nothing is everlasting in this world as u'll not be around forever..

Building up on..

finally got a resolution last night even though its a short while.. clarrified things with her & got to know all the details.. we promised to work things out together.. looking at & building on our future is much more impotant than anything else now.. my heart is still a little shaken over some issues but i guessed its best kept within me & not rake them up in front of her to make her unhappy or sad as i know the problems will keep on resurfacing if i kept raking them up.. rather than doing so, i want to treasure every moment with her, giving & leaving her the best memories she ever had.. as long as she's happy, i don't mind what would happen to me even the worst things would befall unto me.. recently a classmate just hopped back into r/s.. i didn't know until i was told.. congrats to her & the guy who won her heart.. he started later than me but looking at myself.. i'm never near to his achievement.. sadly but truely.. i'm nowhere near my goal.. am i that lousy? am i really that useless? where is the confident i once had when i set my mind on going after her? frankly.. i don't know how much i stand in her heart.. how close is close? will she miss me? will she think of me & so on.. guess i asked for too much.. *sigh*

Sleepless night

didn't manage to sleep at all last night.. was troubled over something.. that question haunted me badly as my heart was shattered yet again..
u told me that u can't promise that u won't fall for another yet u asked me if i can wait for u for 5years.. to be frank.. i can but its u that can't promise me.. what can i do?? u said u don't wanna give me empty promises while i already gave u my heart.. after what u said last night.. my heart hurts badly.. i really questioned myself the whole night.. my mind is in a big mess again.. i'm so unsure of myself this time.. i really got nothing to say.. i got no answers anymore..