A sadden heart

Today marks the 1st week death anniversary of my grandmother's.. Last week of today she passed on peacefully.. alot of things happened at the wake too.. it'll be a long story to tell but to those whom attended would have known.. though we can't see her again but she'll live in our heart & memories..

* in loving memories - Ah ma *

From this funeral, this thought me something again.. spend more time with your family members now before you regret.. time really waits for no one.. when its time to go.. you can't prevent it.. the only thing we can do now is to spend more time with our ah kong now.. the way he bid his wife goodbye made my heart shattered.. they had spend most of their life time together & suddenly, his mate just go onto another journey without him.. my tears kept running as i witnessed that.. no words could be said to comfort him..
Life still goes on.. as you'r reading this blog.. i'm in office.. making use of my spare time during my lunch break to do this if not i dun even know when i can update again.. *sigh*
On the side note.. MOS is closed down!!! i guess most of us if not all of us know the reason right?? ahahahaha.. it happened to all clubs when its always packed with them.. dunno why but it happened without failed.. look at 'China Black' & 'Devils Bar'.. they shared the same fate as any other clubs.. sad to say so but its about time those owners do something about the crowds.. the 'do's' & 'dun's' to attract.. well.. too bad i would say..

Stupidity!!!

Finally can sit down down quietly & update le.. its being quite some time.. still busy at work as usual & trying to pick as much as i could.. tired, tired & more tiring days ahead is all i could say.. got so tired & restless of things around me so easily.. some times i'm even lazy to drag myself home.. why are we working so hard when our boss don't even appreciate.. when problems arise, they only know how to point their fingers at you..
the thought of going reservist (army) spoiled my day & thought what can i do when i did not complete anything during my NS time.. What is BMT?? What is IPPT?? What is range?? All this i did not attend at all.. its so lame lor.. No wonder everyone said army is wasting our time, money & resources.. cock up every single time!!! every time!!! if got excuse must fork out our own money.. waste money.. if they dun like, they'll ask u back again.. waste time.. then they play with u.. ask u back every now & then.. waste resources.. no wonder so many locals wanna get out of sg.. the government still don't get it.. sad thing to know.. but this is only part of the many reasons.. anyway.. its already too late when they just realised the problems..
Recently heard something very funny.. Its about a brainless idiot whom stole someone's stuff & wanna sue that person when evidences are in the hp.. How could someone be so stupid & lame?? got caught red handed but still wanna fight back?? no hope at all lor.. best part is that thief threaten that person it wanna get the hp back.. it will be so sorry if it got counter sued.. double charged some more lor.. if it apologised, i think that person might just consider letting it off but too bad.. it made the wrong move.. haix.. i really despise it for it's stupidity.. i would say let it prepare it's butt for jail or being slap by a heavy fine if it could afford.. Stupid moron!!! muahahaha.. *I use "it" bcoz it's more stupid than a pig!! get what i mean??*

Forcast??

If anyone can invent something where u know when u gonna get sick or etc.. pls do so now!! 'coz i can't predict when my cough get worsen & the best part was its within mins.. i tried to rest alittle at home before i went out but the cough was quite bad & so came my super last min sms to inform others tat i'm not able to make it.. wat i got?? i got screwed in the air which i predicted.. yeah!! get it.. i know i deserved tat.. if tat ticket or money wasted weight more than me.. i guess i juz need to f*** off frm u all.. i rather waste the money than to cough throughout the whole show not enjoying & disturbing others.. definitely i'm at fault but pls understand wat ppl are going thru.. illness is not sumthg we can predict of..

Some cooling off in my busy time..

wow.. before i noticed, its already a month plus i last updated my blog.. the best thing is i'm in office now writing this post.. surprised?? well.. everybody is out of office & my boss is in a meeting currently.. so now taking the chance to eat "snake".. heex.. =P
started my life now as a engineer & really learnt alot here.. colleagues are friendly & willing to teach.. earning big bucks here?? nope.. its juz that i enjoyed the work & pace here.. slowly making me forget where i was before.. (not the friends made but the work!!) this two months was quite happening.. 1st had a wedding celebration in JB ended in being postphoned.. then came my 1st D&D with my current company.. then came kang's biggest day of his life, his wedding.. congrats to him for settling down & preparing to be a daddy soon!! more to come as another friend is getting married & 2 other friends are celebrating their child's 1st birthday.. wah!! I dun really wanna say this but i think i'm getting old le.. one after another i see friends settling down.. made me worried as i juz started my career & still a long way to push ahead.. with a little savings & so much wanted stuff to do.. when will that day come?? *sigh*
hmmm.. i really find a ger with attraction whom she had already made 3 of my closed friends fall victim for her.. she's average (defers from people to people) but she got a x-factor thingy that attracts.. i dunno what were those but i'm definitely not the one to find out.. i agreed that she carried the confident & outspoken self although i only spoke to her once oni.. for one of them, i even started to ignore her & keeping my distance.. being noble?? nah.. its juz that i felt my world dun fit into anyone's.. might as well restrict myself & i'm nv gd at communicating either.. lack of confident again?? i guess so.. tend to be rather low morale with things around me.. dun ask me as i got no answer too.. this is what they called life??

A new start from a past..

today thought through very hard & to finally put my signature on.. i'll be joining a company where I enjoyed my stay the most but this time is alittle different enviornment.. will be stationed in Tai Seng than in Expo.. guess i'll miss one the biggest show in Expo this year after going through it for 3 straight years.. all the best for the show.. hope problems this time round will be lesser if not none.. heex..
the news came around 8+ in the morning as i'm still in my lala land.. after receiving the news.. i sat in front of my computer & stare into blanks.. not knowing if I'm gonna take up the job.. something in my mind kept holding to a better offer with a higher pay.. then again.. its a comfort zone where most of the ex-colleagues, or should i say colleagues-to-be-again, are there.. although i'm looking forward to more like sales & marketing or support of both types of job.. excited & confused at the same time.. i sigh through the whole noon before i finally pick up my hp & called them to accept their offer.. upon reaching.. do felt alittle cheated as they changed my title from associate engineer to operations executive.. still.. its a c level job where i can't decline.. will be with the network fixed field & systems business unit.. i'll be in time for the aws but will miss on the performance bonus as i need to be with them for a year before i'm eligible for it.. *sigh* not tto bad.. its still a good training ground to climb my way up.. its not my "ideal" job but the interest level on the job is still quite high on my part.. i'm ready to push all the way.. wanted to start next monday but seem like they'r kinda short-handed due to a big show which i mentioned earlier.. so i requested to start on thursday instead.. gotta go for medical check-up again.. haix.. kinda lazy & stupid but its a procedure.. i think i'll be getting a new line as i'm entitled to staff price.. kekekeke..
a new chapter will be starting & i'll be on a long journey again.. a blurred but challenging road awakes me beyond that long lonely tunnel.. hope to see a brighter light shore as i know from there.. i had finally reached my destination.. & from there again.. another chapter will be unfold..

Moved on..

Offically jobless on 1st May as I quit my current job.. felt happy but at the same time lost as I did not anticipate the rice crisis & finding a job now is made difficult.. Companies are cutting down on cost.. Its really bad as it seem.. yup.. do feel attached to the friends I made.. They helped me alot in life & on job.. without their lead & teachings.. well.. I guess I'm quite a lost sheep until now.. doing things blindly.. kekeke.. Mixed feelings.. Actually was quite down on the actual day when I left.. Never thought that walking out is more difficult than walking in.. It really need courage to quit a job & moved on.. I finally get what it meant now.. as we know.. nothing is forever & everlasting.. Whatever it is.. I made my choice & I should held my head high & take a big step forward.. Cheers to life.. ^-^
This few days has been actively hunting for jobs so for those online will find me alittle emo.. I guessed its the tiring rountine of job hunting.. kekekeke.. I guess everybody has gone through that stage so do bear with me until then..
Recently quite alot of ups & downs in my life but its really nice at the end of the day to grow with her.. Though we stumbled a few times but minor frictions in life is also a kind of spice?? Not too often as this will tired out either party.. Oh ya.. Iron man rockx!! All should catch the show.. Its the best MARVEL series so far on the big screen.. The 2nd best to me will be Transformer if not for Iron man arrival.. Heex.. =P
Today just received a very serious & bad news.. To all.. Pls do not answer the following numbers when u see it appeared on your hp.. It was reported that users answered & died.. Numerous cases happened across M'sia & Indonesia.. It's said the numbers are in red & the sets of numbers are: 1.) 0666 2.) 0866 3.) 9846554 Its safer than be sorry.. Be wary of them!! Pass this on to your friends..

All I can say..

life is never easy.. what u wanted will not always turn out the way u expected.. that's why people always said that don't expect too much from life.. everyday.. we deal with disappointment, irritating narrow-minded people & etc in which later u judge that enough is enough.. i wished i could shout it in the face of whoever it is but its time wasting as they'll never buy what u said.. so what the hell should i care so much as the world do not revolved around them anyway.. just move on.. they are not worth in your life if u finally decided your life will be much better off without them.. so be it.. nobody gonna care how u felt or think anyway.. after so many years in life.. this is the first time that i felt being so badly insulted in my integrity.. decision is made & i got one less burden to bother about.. will enjoy my life to the fullness without concerning over with.. life's for me is always a plot of roses with some healthy scars..

Pathetic as it seem

Its really sad to see people whom u do not know or maybe someone u know but pretending to be a stranger coming into your blog & talking shits about what u wrote or leaving comments without knowing what's going on.. see my title?? get it?? he/she needs a life!! being concern & acting concern can be seen at a glance.. who ever said i had problem with my gf?? u saw it?? u heard it?? what u heard or what u saw may not be true also until u'r there with them.. sadly.. whoever left the comment already exposed his identity the very moment he put those down.. *sigh* whatever it is.. a gentle reminder "oh".. reflect on your life.. its so full of lies!! hell with u!!

When u know it all

Why do it when u know i hate it most?? & to do it knowing means u'r prepared for the outcome?? then why be sorry about it?? the betrayal of trust had made my heart broken/shattered & feeling sad & out.. we promised each other to be frank with either party but what happened to that promise?? that's not the worst.. the worst is i found out the fact myself from another person's mouth.. why?? even though it did not take place but the intention to lie/hide things from me is there already.. i know i shouldn't blame u for all but the truth had been uncovered myself.. why hint me when u already know the intention?? i'm so disappointed & sorry for myself for being so naive.. i have given u my soul & heart but what did i get in return?? i never ask for any returns from u but why gave me such a deep wound to bear?? its not your fault since u did it not letting me worried & made me wander in my thoughts.. where did all my effort goes?? all forgotten & thrown aside/away??

Lifted by unhappiness

Sometimes.. things just get from bad to worse.. *sigh* Frustration has become part of my life.. Bad mood has become a must during work.. Under hands' means has become a brought up culture in office.. Finally.. My heart & soul has forsaken me.. Nope.. Not to what u'r thinking but its my attitude towards my work.. I'm very much wanting to get out of there as soon as I could.. The more I stayed.. The more I feel uncomfortable & sickening about the place.. To be frank.. I don't know what went wrong but I saw alot of back stabbings going on in the office.. Everybody is just out to make a simple living but "those" people are so petty & narrow minded.. How they behalf & think is totally on how they were educate & taught by their leaders or upper studies but it is still the individual that make it turn out this way.. Its a totally new experience cum eye opener.. Sadly to say.. This is the first ever worst working environment I ever came upon.. In short.. Its really f*** up!!!

2nd month anniversary

Look how time flies.. its been 2 months.. happy 2 months anniversary dear~ ^-^ though we have not gone through any “serious” setbacks but I do hope you’ll be happy all the time being with me.. I may not be the best guy you met but I’ll try to be the best guy for you.. having you is my greatest gift.. I treasure all moments we spent together.. thanks for everything.. I love you!!~ yaya I know.. I said this too many times and you don’t find it special anymore.. whatever it is.. its sincere from my heart.. all I want from you is that simple.. just want you to love me wholeheartedly only.. heex.. =P
Recently still trying very very hard to commit myself at work.. I find no energy to do things.. can’t find any strength from within to push me on.. everything is so dull.. the only comfort I have is close friends I made during my time there.. I’m glad and grateful for all this but to be frank.. this is not the place I want to work in.. its just don’t suit me at all.. My mum told me to hang on until I can find a better job as she could tell that I’m not myself for some time.. I don’t want to worry also so will just say I’m fine.. hopefully this won’t for too long.. yaya.. the same old complain I have.. pay sux and etc.. do bear with me for this while k.. kekekeke..

Weighted feelings

Hasn't been feeling happy recently. Maybe its due to work or stress? The only time I felt at ease is when I'm with her or friends. But this few days didn't meet her or friends so everything had been kept inside my heart. Sometimes I just dunno what to do. Just feel like getting away from work for a long while or is it that I'm running away from reality? *sigh* The last job I held I totally did not have this kind of feelings except for a break only but not escaping from it. Why things had become this way? I don't know either. I guess partly the pay is too little and that's why I felt this way. 27 this year & achieve nothing at all. A total failure. How pathetic can I go? If I continue to sulk this way, I guess I can never walk out of this mess. I don't wanna stress myself out until I go insane. My heart is weary from all factors that's gashing all at me. Its heavy & felt like its drowning, out of breath.

Lousy days ahead

recently felt so drained & attitude towards my job is lousy.. i find that there's a very big problem with the system & i'm struggling to adapt & keep up with it.. the work is very repeatative & its getting boring.. nothing new could be learn there anymore.. guessed i should accept that bank offer the other time but too bad i wanna get a break from sales line for a little while.. i can't find any reason to motivate myself to work, not mentioning with that pathetic pay.. i also do think the experience i got there can't really make my resume look any nicer.. maybe with that "big" name only.. i'm trying all ways & means to make myself happy for work everyday.. *sigh*
things went smooth & well for both of us.. thanks to all whom are concerned.. must had worried all of u when i "m.i.a" for quite awhile.. was spending time with her & giving her as much support as i could due to her failure to get a permit.. i was very pissed with the result but there's nothing i could do.. maybe after my probation i gonna go down & bang their table..
how i wish i could find a job with better pay soon so that i could study for my degree real soon.. i'm turning 27 this year already.. omg.. i'm getting damn old la..